Five on a night out – Enid Blogton

In which the Famous Five discover a musical cave and visit a ginger-pop shop

It was nearly the end of term and Julien had been sent to pick up his cousin, Bets, from her boarding school. Bets was pleased to see him as usual and gave him a great big hug. “How come you’re here to pick me up?” She asked. “Well, I was supposed to be meeting with my family, but the plans have all fallen through.” He replied. “Hey, how about if we go on an adventure tonight?” He exclaimed. “Oh no,” said Bets, “I’ve got a jolly lot of homework to catch up on. You go with your friends.” So Julien quickly wrote a message to his friends, tied it to the leg of a pigeon, and released the bird into the gathering winter evening.

It was about eight o’clock when Julien arrived outside of the cave, known to the locals as Fibbers. Venturing further in, he soon met up with his chums: Dick, Anne, George and Timmy. Dick thrust a bottle of lemonade into his hand, “This is a jolly wheeze,” he said. It was said that at certain times of the evening, when the wind and the waves were just right, the cave produced eerie sounds, almost musical, and tonight the conditions were just right. The first noise was remarkably like Ishtar, slowly building up into their 50 minute long work called “The World We Loved Shimmers In Flames”, except it only lasted for about 25/30 minutes so was probably the abridged version. This performance also had Dick Cheney doing a voice-over in one section, giving a speech about terrorism, but Julien couldn’t make out who was doing the talking. “Crikey. That was good”, uttered Timmy. There was a period of quiet in which the chums caught up with each other and then the cave starting making noises again, shorter bursts of noise, of a droning nature. It sounded remarkably like The Falling Spikes with their hypnotic drums/bass, shimmering guitar/keyboards, and vocals delivered as if heard whilst dreaming... “Oh blimey,” said Dick, “I almost nodded off then!” But there was no nodding off when the next noise started. It was the The Warlocks, with two drummers. They are currently touring their sixth album “Heavy Deavy Skull Lover” with its ominous acoustics and full-on fuzz melt-down. In fact the noise was so heavily distorted that it was difficult to tell if that’s was how it was meant to sound.

The Five staggered out of the cave. “Leaping lizards, I’m glad we’ve escaped from there,” said Dick. “I need a ginger-pop, let’s go and buy some,” said Anne. So the Five made their carefully up the cliff path and along the quiet lanes to village. “It’s awfully dark,” said Timmy, “did anyone remember to bring a torch?” “No need,” said George, “we’re here now.” And sure enough they had arrived outside the Old White Ginger Pop Shop. It was terribly crowded when they got inside, but the Five managed to find their friend, the Russian lady spy, Legs Elanavitch. Legs told them that Tom, the pop shop owner, had been forced out of business by a big lemonade factory, and this was his last night in the shop. “The rotters!” Exclaimed Dick. There were lots of Tom’s friends there, including a jolly country band called Hazzard County. As this was Tom’s last night lots of people who had played in the band came up and had a go. Tom even had a go on the drums himself! There was one chap, Joe Johnson (of Shed Seven) sporting a very nice haircut, just like Julien’s, but he seemed a bit distracted and didn’t really know the songs they were playing so he let Rockin’ Richard have a go instead. It was a fantastic night and Julien drank lots of strange drinks; mixtures of raspberries and apples, apples and oranges. Then everybody wished Tom “Good Luck” and the Five left to stand on their favourite corner street in the village. It was very late when Julien arrived home, nearly 2 o’clock in the morning, and he had to sneak in through the pantry window so that he didn’t wake his parents. “Crumbs that was a spiffing night out.” He thought as he drifted off to sleep. “I wonder if we will have such an exciting adventure next weekend!”

And as a million faces go by/You’re gonna find a new connection/On that you can rely

Friday 16 November. And down at the Roman Bath Freeway are playing. Now we’ve seen these before and they were jolly good last time. They do classic rock covers and feature Howard the Drummer. They must have started around nine because I got there about a quarter past and they were already on ‘Wishing Well’. The evening was greatly enhanced by a few pints of John Smiths. Not that ‘brewed in Warrington’ nonsense, but a batch brewed back in Tadcaster using water from the artesian well beneath the brewery. That’s better!

Anyway, back to the band. As per last time they did a stonking set of covers, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, Bad Co. Free, Iron Maiden, Thunder, AC/DC, and Queen. The highlight was in the second half when Livvy (that’s Howard’s daughter, the singer out of Breathing Space), was inveigled into singing to Led Zep’s ‘Rock n Roll’ and Howard did his drum solo in the middle. Also in the crowd, Mostly Brian was mostly hanging about and chatting with his mates.

If you want check out Freeway for yourself, they are currently booked to play the Roman Bath on Friday 30 November and Friday 21 December. I’ll definitely be there for 30 November; I have a date, with a lady!

And the time will come when you see we're all one/and life flows on within you and without you.

Friday 9 November. Whole Lotta Led playing at Fibbers, sounds like a really great night. I’ve seen this band before and they were top-notch. The band consists of Nick Ferris (lead guitar, acoustic guitar and theramin), Geoff Hunt (bass guitar, mandolin and keyboards), Graham Twist (drums and backing vocals), and Lee Addison (vocals and harmonica). Actually, it was a bit disappointing as Lee struggled with his Sennheiser in-ear monitoring system that kept cutting in and out, so half the time he was singing flat. The drum and guitars were excellent. Nick and Geoff did a huge guitar duet on ‘No Quarter’ that seemed to go on forever, and young Graham’s masterful drum solo in the middle of ‘Moby Dick’ was a real highlight. But despite a very supportive crowd, it seems the band were a bit frustrated as they didn't do an encore.

We then moved on to the Mucky Duck where, what was billed as (proper) Hazzard County turned out to be Simon Snaize and the Hazzards, as Mostly Chris was playing with Mostly Autumn at the Mostly Opera House (this link looked a bit dodgey when I tried it). Still, the Hazzards were on good form doing a sublime ‘Who Do You Love’ with George Harrison’s ‘Within You Without You’, plonked in the middle. Blooming awaesome! During the evening I had three pints of Black Sheep (1 for ewe, 1 for ewe, and 1 for ewe) and was feeling no pain whilst assisting a young lady from Dewsbury on a pre-'hen night' night to purchase a bottle of wine. I failed to ask her name, as usual, but I hope they all had a good time on Saturday.

You keep me coming but you just ask for more/The clocks ticking there’s a hole in my heart

Sunday 4 November. Oi, it’s a work day tomorrow, you can’t go out on the town! Oh yes I can. A trip down to Fibbers, I’ll only drink J2O, honest guvnor. Sadly I missed the first band but I will at least give them a mention, Untitled Music Project. Sorry chaps. I believe they trawled all the way from Birmingham for me to miss them.

Next up were The Dirtys. Very loud. The vocals were a bit Kings Of Leon and the lead guitarist was very good, although a tad too distorted for me. Clean up the sound and it could have been Slash on guitar. Really. I’m not sure who was who but the band (according to their MyFace page) consisted of Kyrill, Gee, Keiran, and Martyn.

Finally, the headliners, The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster. Now these were VERY loud and VERY fast. Hailing from Brighton, this band have been around since 1999 and is currently comprised of: Guy McKnight (Vocals), Rich Fownes (Lead Guitar), Marc Norris (Rhythm Guitar), Sym Gharial (Bass), and Tom Diamantopoulo (Drums). Their weird name comes, apparently, from a car once driven by Winston Churchill, and a couple of the band members are Buddhists, so a nice bunch of chaps really. The music is psycho-billy punk, thrash played at the speed of bands like Trivium. Which goes a long way to explain why their first album, ‘Horse of the Dog’, only lasts for twenty five minutes although it still fits in ten songs. Guy is a scary… well guy. During their opening number (I’ve no idea what it was called) he hurled himself into the crowd where he tossed and turned for a few minutes before being gently deposited back on the stage. Nor was this the only time he went crowd-surfing, and in the middle of the act he came down amongst the audience, clambered over a railing (nearly kicking over a table full of glasses) and then made his way back again, singing/growling/shouting all the time. One of their songs, ‘Mister Mental’, was featured in the movie ‘Shaun of the Dead’, the film also contained posters and other references to the band. The band is working on their third album due for release in late 2007/early 2008. Sorry chaps but I won’t be parting with my plastic for that one.

Saturday 3 November and I’m up bright and early to start the Xmas shopping. OK, it’s a bit soon, but you’ve got to start sometime and when you can only shop at weekend it cuts down the options. My David Gilmour 2-disc DVD of ‘Remember That Night’ plops through my letterbox at lunchtime and I spend an extremely pleasant afternoon watching the whole, breathtaking performance. Brilliant.

Friday 2 November and a rare appearance by the full Hazzard County line up at the Old White Swan. Yes, Mostly Chris is in attendance and the place is heaving because Country John appears to have invited all his mates along. John Smiths is a no no, mine’s a pint of Black Sheep, thank you! The Hazzards are brilliant, as usual, a full on Dylanesque show plus an almost psychedelic version of ‘Who Do You Love’. This is how Friday nights should always be. Sadly, although the full line up is playing again next week, Whole Lotta Led are at Fibbers so I will only be catching the second half of the Hazzards. Well something’s gotta go.

Hailed brilliant, another conversation/but they couldn't touch your Hemingway

Thursday 2 November and it’s a mid-week sortie to Fibbers to check out the new Arctic Chiefs, er, Kaiser Monkeys, er, you get the picture. First up is the Duels, a five-piece from Leeds; Jon Foulger (vocals, guitar and keyboards), Jim Foulger (his brother, guitar), Jon Maher (bass and shouts a bit), James Kirkbright(drums), and Katherine (Jon and Jim’s cousin, keyboards, bells, branches and violin?). Duels formed from the ashes of band SammyUSA. Their first limited edition single ‘Potential Futures’ was released on the Transgressive Records label on 18 July 2005 and featured on the Fifa 2006 soundtrack. Their first album, ‘The Bright Lights And What I Should Have Learned’, was released on the Nude label on 31 July 2006. The band have since parted from Nude and this gig is part of their ‘The Barbarians Move In’ tour in advance of their new album of the same name. Their new single, ‘Pressure on You’, is due for release on 7 November 2005, bugger, too early! Duels toured with Graham Coxon, The Rakes, The Kooks, Kaiser Chiefs and The Zutons. They have played the V Festival, Reading and Leeds Festivals and opened the Main Stage at T in the Park in 2006. Apparently they’ve been together since 2004 and it certainly sounds like it. They are a tight band with the instruments producing a rich and complex sound that was breathtakingly good for a support act. My only disappointment was that there was no CD on sale at the back of the room; I was ripe for a purchase.

The next band had drawn its own group of devotees. I Was A Cub Scout are a two-piece from Nottingham (I can’t help saying Dottingham, as if I have a blocked nose; it’s from an old TV advertisement featuring a character called Malcolm.) IWACS consist of William Bowerman (drums) from Collingham, previously in Sixteen Hours, and Todd Marriott (vocals/synths/guitar) from Long Bennington, previously in Through Winter, both punk bands. Their first single ‘Pink Squares’ was released on 27 November 2006. They played over pre-programmed keyboards and frankly they need a third band member. How can you improvise when playing over a karaoke track? A bit disappointing really, a bit like Athlete (who I like) playing in their bedroom when they were spotty youngsters. A bit emo, a bit techno, a bit rubbish.

Finally, the star turn, the new saviours of music, iForward Russia! Oh dear. The vocalist moved like Kate Bush on speed and had a voice resembling Justin Darkness Hawkins. All their tracks (bar one) sounded the same, the double-time ska that is the trademark of so many bands these days. Apparently it’s called math rock. iForward Russia! Feature Tom Woodhead (vocals/synth), Whiskas (guitar/synth/shouts), Rob Canning (bass), and Katie Nicholls (drums/shouts). Musically, it's rock built on jabbing guitar lines, scrabbling chords, bruising rhythm-section riffs, jarring dissonances and irregular meters. The band formed in early 2004 from Leeds band The Black Helicopters, of which Tom and Rob were members. They joined siblings Katie and Whiskas (previously of Leeds band les Flames amongst others). In April 2005, they released ‘Nine’, a split 7-inch single with This Et Al, released on guitarist Whiskas' label Dance To The Radio. They’ve toured with We Are Scientists and played alongside The Automatic, The Long Blondes, Howling Bells and Boy Kill Boy on the 2006 NME New Music Tour. Their first album ‘Give Me A Wall’ was released in September 2006. Each track has a numerical name which allegedly indicates the order in which the tracks were written. Most of their output since GMAW has had conventional non-numerical titles. They are currently working on a new album ‘Life processes’ which is due for release shortly. Their track ‘Nine’ was featured on the soundtrack to the 2007 PSP game Burnout Dominator. In a slight support band link up, Katie remixed IWACS’s single 'I Hate Nightclubs'. The video for ‘Eighteen’ features cameo appearances from members of The Pigeon Detectives, This Et Al and The Playmates. The only track that sounded different, and that I liked, was the finale, a slow burning, torch song in the style of Four Day Hombre. I’m sorry, but if I wanted to hear 4DH (who I highly recommend) then I will go and see them, or play their excellent CDs.